Know that it’s normal to find the loss destabilising

Amber Jeffers, a podcaster, speaker, community facilitator and grief mentor behind The Grief Gang, tells Stylist: “From my own personal experience and the hundreds of people I’ve worked with who are navigating parental loss, I believe one of the hardest aspects of losing a parent, at any age, is losing that anchoring in the world. Whether you’re 18 or 42, have kids of your own or are standing on your own two feet, for many, parents signify safety and belonging. Even in troubled relationships, there is still a sense that you belong to someone, something. Losing a parent has often been described to me as an untethering.

“When my mum died, I felt very ‘unsafe’ in the world. I was 19 at the time, and losing that safety net of my mum was exposing. When I say that, I don’t really mean that my mum did everything for me or sheltered me. What I mean is that my sense of what the world was and what it could dish up for you was now flipped on its head.”

Care for your physical health

Even without losing someone, the experience of pregnancy and childbirth is immensely exhausting. “Pregnancy is a time of huge metabolic demands on the body – you’re growing a baby and also need to keep yourself sustained,” says Lola Ross, a nutritionist and women’s health expert. “After your birth, it is really common to experience postnatal depletion, a state of imbalance that can affect mood, hormones, sleep and overall wellbeing.”

Ensure you’re caring for yourself during this time, not only your baby. “Nutrition plays an important role in postnatal recovery, and nutrients like iron, omega fatty acids, calcium and protein are critical when it comes to replenishing stores that have been well-used during pregnancy,” Ross says. “To fill in nutritional gaps, continue taking your pregnancy supplements during the fourth trimester, and eat well-balanced, nutrient-dense meals daily. Batch cooking and freezing meals can help you to eat with intention during the postpartum phase, nourishing and replenishing your body while allowing more time to get to know your baby.”

“6 weeks after giving birth, I lost my mum – this is what a year of grief taught me”