“I was worried I’d only have five people at my wedding”
Miranda, 34

“A huge insecurity of mine is not having many school friends after an argument in my 20s ended with me losing about 10 of them all at once. I’ve got one friend left from that group. When I turned 30 and everyone started getting married, a big trigger for me was knowing I’d have 10 fewer weddings to go to than I once did. For a while, I worried that if I got married, I’d only have about five people to invite.”

“I’ve outgrown the people I grew up with”
Jessica, 30

“Outgrowing my old ‘friends from home’ feels like a failed friendship. I’m part of a group of five girls I know from college; I moved to London 12 years ago for my job and other four remained in our home town. For the first five or six years we kept in touch a lot – it felt easy meeting up for everyone’s birthdays, special occasions and just for fun. But more recently things have shifted, like it’s more of a chore, and I’m hanging onto it simply to be in a ‘group’ of friends. But if I let go, it’ll feel like I’ve failed that ideal group relationship – and what if I come to regret it?”

“I wish I had a big group of uni mates”
Holly, 25

“I don’t have one big friendship group from uni. This is because I went to uni in London (where everyone lives an hour away from each other) and graduated during Covid (when loads of people moved home), and I’m definitely envious when I see people going back to their uni towns for reunions with a big group. I wish I had that.”

“I don’t have a Black sisterhood”
Kate, 31

“I feel a little guilty for thinking this because I have the most incredible group of friends, but I do wonder if I’m doing something wrong by not having more Black women in my inner circle. I think we all know how valuable it is to feel a sense of belonging in a community that you identify with, and so when I see photos of the Black women I follow on Instagram celebrating their friendships, it’s hard not to feel a pang of jealousy and FOMO – like there’s something really special that I’m missing out on.”

“Where did all my single mates go?”
Liv, 28

“I’m at a stage when almost all my friends (save for about three) across different cities and groups are in long-term relationships, meaning that a lot of their time is spent with their partners: doing flats up, going on holiday together, planning weddings. It makes seeing each other less spontaneous, which I hate. I’m not a big forward planner; I don’t want to book lunch with you for two months’ time. We’re a bit out of sync. I wish I had more single friends to hang out casually with, people who have free weekends and want to have fun. When I see a big group of girls partying or just chilling together on a Friday night, I feel sad. That happens a lot less for me these days.”

“At 31, I don’t have the friendships I’m supposed to – and it feels like I’ve failed”