“It sometimes feels as if my friends with kids will never get how lonely I am,” says Megan*. “Or that I’m every bit as tired as they are, even if I don’t have a child to pin it on.”

It’s a tricky period in any friendship – and, yes, big life transitions can see us lose close friends: quite honestly, this writer has seen her friendship group shift and change far more dramatically in her 30s than in any other decade of her life so far – and usually as the result of a major decision, be it moving out of the city, getting married, changing careers or having kids. However, McMahon says that we don’t have to lose the people we’re closest to and that there are ways to bridge the gap between ourselves and those friends who have crossed over to the vampiric realm – and vice versa.

“The key is to remain open, curious and listen,” says McMahon. “We don’t need to live the same lives to connect with other people or build strong bonds with others. If you’re talking with someone who has decided to change their career after a long stint in something, judging and questioning their choices will ultimately push them away, but listening to their experiences, being curious about their new experiences and staying open to being different or having different opinions now will keep that connection intact.”

The most important thing to remember, of course, is that there is no one true path – just as every person is different, so too are the decisions we must make as individuals. “There’s unlikely to be a clear-cut path or decision with all these kinds of problems, so it’s important to listen to your gut, understand your values and wants in life and shift your perspective to view mistakes or failures as opportunities,” says McMahon, who advises us to seek information from multiple sources, those who have lived experiences, those who haven’t and always take this away to form your own opinions and ideas.

How ‘vampire problems’ could be causing rifts in your friendships