Can you ever stop a friendship from fizzling out?

As painful as it may be to distance yourself from someone you once cherished, holding on usually becomes harder than letting go. If you don’t feel good when you’re together (whether it’s about yourself, your friendship or your growth), then it’s likely time for things to come to a close. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to say goodbye forever.

“The trouble is that friendships receive less cultural prompts for care and nurture than other relationships do, so friendships are often the first thing that falls to the wayside when life gets in the way,” Witmond shares. Therefore, if you would like to stop a friendship from being outgrown, you need to start making a concerted effort to consciously cultivate the bond you have.

According to Witmond, you can start by telling your friend how you are feeling and that you would like to work on mending the relationship – as is the case in all relationships, communication is key. “Instead of expectations, focus on making agreements: express your boundaries and the kind of support you are looking for in a friend, and see if your friend is willing to meet you where you are at,” she explains. “If you have lost touch, you can make the effort to see and speak with your friend more often. It is important that both sides are willing to put in the time and effort.”

As a final note, she insists: “No matter what, it is important that we don’t compromise who we are for the sake of others. This can be hard as we want to please, to be liked, to be accepted. But true belonging is only achievable when we are true to ourselves – and sometimes this requires us to take a closer look at our friends.”

The psychology of outgrowing relationships: why we ‘shed’ friends at different stages of our lives