Words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts and acts of service: you’re likely already familiar with the five ’love languages’, a theory from Gary Chapman’s 1992 book of the same name. These distinct languages help us to define what kind of love we expect from our partners and how we express affection towards others.

Just as we have love languages, we also have ‘fight languages’ that are equally important to understand but often get overlooked. By contrast, fight languages can dictate our stances and emotional trajectories during disagreements, shaping how we process conflict, manage emotions and engage in discussions with our partners.

“While love languages are well known, I’d go so far as to say that conflict or fight languages are even more important to pay attention to,” explains Jessica Alderson, a relationship expert and co-founder of dating platform So Syncd.

But unlike the relatively simple love language theory, understanding conflict is inherently more complicated, and there are often intense emotions involved.

How understanding your ‘fight language’ can help improve your relationship