“I might have never given dating women a chance”

Eva, 30, Bristol

At 30, I’ve only just got into my first proper relationship recently. For years, I was sleeping with and dating men but never met the ‘right’ one to have something serious with. Then, about a year ago, I decided to start dating women too, and I’ve just started seeing someone seriously. I’m so happy with how things are now, but there were years of feeling like the odd one out, and if I’m honest, feeling a sense of embarrassment and even shame that I was getting through my 20s without experiencing a ‘proper’ romantic relationship. It was all worth it in the end though. If I’d got into something long term with a man, I might have never given dating women a chance and wouldn’t be where I am now. So I would say patience is key; don’t rush anything just for the sake of feeling like everyone else and matching their timeline.

“I’m in my 40s and don’t regret not being in a long-term relationship”

Celina, 40s, Reading

I grew up in Poland and didn’t fancy any boys at all until I was about 19. I knew I wanted to leave Poland, but I also knew that if I got into a relationship, it would be very hard for me to leave. Then, I moved to the UK and met loads of people, but I didn’t want to commit to anyone because I was living a wild life. At 24, I started working two jobs, as a make-up artist and hotel receptionist, so it was very hard for me to date anyone. I never had the time because I wanted to make my career work.

I travelled the world on my own and my career was going really well, so I decided I didn’t want to go out with anyone until I was 30. A month after I turned 30, I met someone on Tinder. Two weeks later, I moved in with him. We had a great time, he was absolutely lovely, but when my career started taking off, he wasn’t supportive. He was holding me back, so that had to come to an end. It’s great when I see my friends in successful, fun relationships, but I also see a lot of people my age going through divorce.

I’ve learned to never stay with somebody who doesn’t let you be the best version of yourself. Always have your financial stability and live your life the way you want to live. If you don’t want to have children, don’t have them for somebody else. Live your life however the hell you want. Now I’m in my 40s I don’t regret any breakups or not being in a long-term relationship. I bought myself a beautiful house and have wonderful friends who I can always rely on.

“My father passing away when I was 9 instilled the need to be self-sufficient”

Amelia, 36, London

There were a lot of factors at play in my specific situation – I’m currently engaged to my first real boyfriend, who I met when I was 28. My friendship group was my life during my university years and working in fashion afterwards didn’t do me me any favours in terms of finding a nice straight guy to date. My father passed away when I was nine, and I think that led to my mum instilling in me the need to be self-sufficient. I was never distraught about not meeting the right guy at a ‘normal’ time.

I dated a lot but just nothing serious until I moved to London and met my fiance. We met through work – he works in the fashion industry, and I had become good friends with someone he used to work with. We would get drinks every week, and she told him to stop by one time. We exchanged numbers, and six years later, here we are.

“I didn’t want to settle just because I was 30”: 6 women who got into their first relationship later in life on what it’s taught them