Why does being ghosted after sex hurt so much?

“The feeling of rejection can be really hard to deal with when it comes after you’ve had sex,” Ed Buhler, director at sexual wellness brand Bodyjoys, tells Stylist.

“Being ghosted plays on your doubts – the lack of explanation leaves you stuck with your insecurities, picking at the parts of yourself that you’re unhappy with to work out if that’s what caused them to ignore you. And of course, it bruises your ego, making you question whether the ghosting is directly related to the sex, your performance or your body.”

It’s true. Not only are you experiencing sadness that you’ll no longer be spending time with someone you were interested in, but you’re also left feeling bad about yourself. Your self-esteem takes a real hit and you might even find yourself being put off dating to avoid getting hurt again.

However, Buhler insists that speculating the reasons behind the ghosting isn’t worth the emotional turmoil it causes.

“Of course, there could be any number of reasons why they ghosted you, and most of them have nothing to do with you. That won’t necessarily make it any less painful if you really liked them, but it’s important to remember that it doesn’t reflect badly on you – in all likelihood, the reason for the ghosting lies with them,” he adds.

How to navigate the painful emotions of being ghosted after sex