For problem triaging to work effectively, it needs to be a two-way process. “It’s so important to listen actively,” says Bose. “It means really taking in what the other person is saying and being curious.” Howling recommends each person brings an ‘important but not urgent’ issue to the table to start with. “Don’t go for the most contentious subject matter that’s likely to escalate things until this new mode of problem solving has become a regular part of your relationship,” she says.

Be aware that your partner may not agree with your concerns. “Remember the importance of giving them space to respond when they see things differently,” advises Quinn. “Always listen calmly to their response.” Keep in mind the positive outcome you’re both seeking, which should prevent you from getting drawn into an argument. “Triage isn’t just about identifying problems; it’s about finding shared solutions. Focus on how you both can move forward in a way that strengthens the relationship, rather than placing all responsibility on one person,” says Tiwari.

Wrap your conversation up by identifying a few clear, achievable goals. These could be emotional (such as trying to listen better), practical (keeping the house tidier) or behaviour-based (integrating more with each other’s friendship groups). Remember that you can’t address everything in one go, but within the space of a few catch-ups, you should be well on your way to a clean bill of health.

Why ‘problem triage’ is the best relationship tip you’ll hear this year (and how to do it, according to experts)