As tempting as it may be, Dr Adams advises against soft ghosting the person you want to de-escalate, instead suggesting that it should be done through open, clear but gentle communication. Soft ghosting, she says, can be a lot more hurtful and it can leave them with a lot of unanswered questions.

Of course, it’s important to be mindful that things may not always go according to plan. It does help when the desire for the de-escalation is mutual, and you may find that your friend has noticed the same strain as you. But if they haven’t, and your sudden pulling away comes as a shock, you might find yourself dealing with some hurt feelings or confrontation.

In my own experience, I’ve certainly known this to be true. It’s natural that you’ll feel pangs of guilt upon receiving a message that reads: “Have I done something wrong? We don’t seem to be as close any more.” But this only proves why honest communication is so important. Even if it feels like you’re causing unnecessary hurt, it’s by far the most respectful approach towards someone you do still care for.

“Try addressing the situation without accusatory tones, give your point of view on this, listen to your partner, and try maintaining a calm approach,” Dr Adams says. “Avoid pushing the conversation into a particular direction. Simply express that you don’t feel like you’re getting what you need out of the relationship right now, and remember to give the other person time to understand and accept your reasoning.”

How relationship de-escalation can help you avoid awkward and painful friendship break-ups