4. Remember, but don’t ruminate

Are you a person who gets rid of every photo and memento that reminds you of an ex or do you still keep the odd thing to remember them by? “Sometimes, letting go of a relationship means letting go of the physical things that symbolised it. If you find you’re constantly looking at photos of the two of you together, for example, that might be keeping you tethered to the past,” says Zimmerman.

“But at the same time, I think it’s important to recognise the profound connection you’ve had with someone and acknowledge that they were important to you. There’s no need to pretend the relationship never existed. Relationships aren’t failures just because they end. You can have had an amazing time with someone and that still has value even though it didn’t last. Try to hold that in your mind.”

5. Check in with yourself

If you feel like you’re just not able to let go of intense and painful feelings about a past relationship, it could be a sign that you need something more tangible than time. “In therapy we talk about the distinction between ‘normal grief’ and ‘complicated grief’, with the latter being a type of pain that you feel really stuck in and like you can’t work through,” says Zimmerman.

“If you’ve gone through all these steps and you still feel a crushing loss, I would suggest that it’s brought up something from childhood – perhaps an abandonment or rejection – and letting go will mean processing that trauma. That’s when the help of a counsellor or psychotherapist could benefit you. Ultimately, it’s important to remember that you can get through it; you may just need an outside perspective to help you move on.”

Images: Getty

How to get over someone, according to a therapist