Theoretically, when you can text and call people from anywhere in the world, being apart physically should be more manageable. But, if Anna’s experience is anything to go by, it can feel as painful as ever. But why?

Kerrie Jones, psychotherapist and founder of mental health clinic Orri, explains that it’s only natural for friendships to change when distance keeps you apart. “Friendships are built and maintained through a sense of safety, trust and consistency between two people,” she says. “When one person moves away, distance and/or a new set of time-zones to contend with can cause a shift that can be challenging to navigate.”

Jones has an explanation for why this change may be particularly unsettling. “We might feel loss, a sense of grief, some fear of what might happen to the friendship, perhaps even some jealousy if you feel that someone has chosen ‘another life’ over you or is going to experience something that perhaps you would like to,” she says. “It can be hard to process these emotions in the midst of them, and the communication styles that we’d previously been used to might not feel so predictable and reliable when distance comes into play. This can bring about big questions like: who are we to each other now?”

How to maintain a long-distance friendship, according to a psychotherapist