All my friends think it’s weird that my boyfriend and I don’t live together. And when I meet someone I don’t know and we get chatting, their number one question is invariably, “Oh, why don’t you live with your partner?” Why is that a question?

We got together six years ago, and after three of them, my boyfriend moved into my London flat. We enjoyed living together, but after a year and a half, I realised that we’d spent way more quality time together when we lived apart. When you live together, you have food, you watch TV. And that’s it. You become very comfortable. And there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that, it’s just that there are certain things you might not want your partner to have to deal with.

We had a really good, healthy adult conversation where we discussed our different lifestyles. First, we inhabit different time zones. He likes to stay up really late, and I don’t. I like to party, but only until a certain time, so I’m in bed by 10.30pm. Second, I like to have my flat as a retreat: somewhere I can come home to, without having to go to bed, and just relax. Third, I’m messy, but he’s ultra-clean and tidy. I’ve tried to blame my dog, Henry, but it’s me. And I was doing overtime on tidying and cleaning because I was so conscious my messiness would bother him. I just wanted to make sure our space felt comfortable and welcoming for both of us.

So for the past couple of years, we’ve lived apart again. And we make more time and effort to do stuff together now. Every time we meet up, it’s as if we’re still in that first dates courting stage. I love that feeling when you get dressed up and go out on a date, the excitement that builds. Everything feels younger and fresher and new and exciting. I’m a big believer in this. Why can’t you be in a 10, 15, 20, 30-year relationship and still have that much excitement with the same person you’ve been with all that time?

We still host for friends, and it’s even more sociable doing it that way. So we’ll watch the boxing at his or Wimbledon at mine. The football was great, but he hosted. That meant I could dip in and out when it got boring.

I know people think it’s such a taboo to live separately or that there must be something wrong with you if you live apart from your partner. But people are evolving in different ways, and I think having the courage to say “You know what, doing something different might work for us” to your partner is just beautiful.

That said, it probably helps that he lives opposite me, so I see him every day without fail. Even if it’s for a quick minute. Maybe we’re having coffee or he picks me up from work. Sometimes we go for a cinema date; at other times, today can become tomorrow when I go to his.

Neither of our places are big, but we can afford two separate flats. I think it should be made easier for first-time buyers to do what we do (or even to be able to afford a place of their own). Everyone has been screwed over. I hope – fingers crossed – things are going to change for the better.

“My boyfriend moved out and now we’re closer than ever”