Firstly, it’s important to know what to look for in order to identify if your friend is behaving in this way. “Look for signs of control or manipulation, such as when your friend is telling their partner what they can or cannot do,” advises Counselling Directory member Tina Chummun. “Notice if your friend frequently speaks negatively about their partner or constantly complains about their relationship and be aware of any signs of emotional, verbal or physical abuse.”

Other things to look out for are if your friend continues to put their partner down. “You might see this happen when around them both or it could even be how your friend is talking about their partner when they are alone with you, constantly criticising them and making them feel bad,” says Hope Flynn, founder of FeedMeFemale, an award-winning, female self-empowerment platform and community. Additionally, signs of jealousy and game-playing can be key indicators. “Your friend may be trying to manipulate and trick their partner into thinking certain things, confusing them and making them feel guilty for no valid reason,” adds Flynn.

As for how to broach it with the friend, well, that’s where things get difficult. And how you go about it will depend on the nature of your friendship. “If you’re able to communicate openly, then you could consider bringing it up directly with them,” says counsellor Georgina Sturmer. “If you need to soften the tone, then you could start by exploring your concerns about their partner, and enquiring after them. Your friend’s response may well reveal what’s happening in the relationship, and could open up the conversation.” It can be helpful to be specific, too, using examples where possible. “This keeps it feeling realistic and calm, rather than seeming like a gossipy accusation,” adds Sturmer.

Whatever happens, it’s important to try and remember that whatever your friend is going through – or about to go through – they will need your support. “If it feels as if your friend’s behaviour is out of character, it might be that there’s something going on for them underneath,” points out Sturmer. “Be compassionate and supportive when you speak to them. Make sure that they understand that you just want what’s best for them, and for their relationship.”

In some cases, though, it might affect your friendship beyond repair. “I realised that our friendship was also becoming unhealthy,” says Olivia. “We only ever met up for parties and drinks and it started to wear me down. I started to become afraid of saying too much about the relationship since I saw how she treated others who disagreed with her. She also wasn’t a supportive friend to me and didn’t care about my wellbeing or goals. Walking away from our friendship wasn’t easy, but I needed to do it to avoid falling into bad habits with her. I’ve learned how important it is to look out for myself while trying to be there for someone else. You can’t make someone change if they don’t want to.”

“My friend is the problem in her relationship. How do I tell her?”