Between physical recovery, night feeds, a lack of sleep and endless nappies to change, to say the first few months after giving birth are ‘tough’ might just be the understatement of the century.

And when new parents have a thousand and one things on their minds at any given moment, navigating sex for the first time after pregnancy and giving birth naturally comes with complicated emotions. According to a survey by Smile Makers, a sexual wellness brand that designs products to help mothers reconnect with their bodies after giving birth, 75% of new mums admitted to worrying about reconnecting with their sexuality after giving birth. Despite 84% feeling ‘proud of what their body has done’, more than 60% said they were struggling with body image and felt like a vessel for their child’s needs.

After such a huge change to your body, any anxiety around having sex is perfectly understandable. “Many women have concerns about the first time they have sex after giving birth due to the physical and emotional changes they experience,” explains Mez Aref-Adib, a consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician at London Gynaecology. While leaving it for four to six weeks is often suggested to ensure possible perineal tears or swelling have been repaired after a vaginal delivery or C-section cut healed, there is no definitive timeframe to wait after giving birth to have both penetrative and other kinds of sex. “It can be quite common to experience vaginal pain, sensitivity, dryness or tears, so it’s important to give your body time to adjust and heal after childbirth,” says Dr Shirin Lakhani, an intimate health expert.

Of course, deciding when and how to have sex for the first time after giving birth isn’t just a practical one – it’s guided by emotions, too.

From ‘box ticking’ to reconnecting – 11 women on the first time they had sex after giving birth