In our videos we talk about so many things, from funny sketches about the lifestyle to genuinely useful, educational advice for those interested in exploring ENM, and of course debunking these misconceptions.

One of the biggest misconceptions about swingers is that if you’re into sleeping with other people you don’t love your partner or significant other, when in fact being part of the lifestyle has made my marriage deeper and more meaningful than ever – but you must be doing it properly. The key to that is communication and breaking down the barriers of talking about sexual desires. It’s one of the hardest things in a relationship to talk about, but when you start opening up in the bedroom, that communication tends to naturally spill into everyday life and you’re able to have emotionally mature conversations with one another, whether it’s about sexual fantasies or the fact one of you has pissed the other off.

People often assume that exploring ENM just means you’re wanting to cheat, but again that’s often not the case, especially when you set very clear boundaries with one another. When we first started out, we had a lot of boundaries in place, and these haven’t changed much. Anything that in your gut you think “this just doesn’t feel right” is a boundary, and for different couples this can mean different things. For example, some couples will engage in sexual activities as a couple, while others are happy to meet separately. Some don’t allow kissing others, while some may choose to just do ‘soft swapping’, where you enjoy playing with another couple, but you draw the line at any penetrative sex.

When it comes to Gage and I, we originally only agreed to play with other couples together, but then this evolved to me meeting couples or single men and women on my own, and then a year later Gage could do the same. But our number one boundary always remained constant: communication. If something is happening or going to happen we will always talk to the other about it – I’ll always let Gage know if I’m messaging someone or thinking about meeting up with someone and vice versa. During meet-ups we often send each other spicy pictures and videos too, so you’re still involved in some way, and after meets together we’ll always debrief and let one another know if there was anything that felt a bit off. We can also veto each other’s meetings, for example if Gage is speaking to a woman and I’m getting red flags from her messages, he would absolutely end the conversation. Everybody needs to be comfortable and everyone needs to be 100% into it for it to work.

“I'm fed up with the misconceptions around swinging, here's why opening up our relationship changed our lives and our marriage”