How old are you now?
30.

How old were you when you broke up?
25.

When did you break up?
December 2018.

When did you get that text?
December 2018.

How did you feel when you got that text?
A bit annoyed, actually. I thought I’d managed to escape the awkward exchange where you tell the other person that you don’t think it’ll work out because he ghosted me initially. I wasn’t disappointed when he disappeared – I was quite relieved, if I’m honest, as the few dates we’d been on had been dry as hell. But then a few weeks later he popped up to say, “Sorry I’ve not kept in touch… would you believe me if I said I was in the shower?” I didn’t find the joke funny, so reverted back to our unspoken agreement that we were done. A week later he sent me that message to say he liked me and to apologise for the rubbish shower joke, which I didn’t really want either.

Did you reply?
Yeah, I felt like the mutual ghosting arrangement was blown out of the water after the second text, so I said, “No worries and thank you. I didn’t really understand the shower joke, lol. It was nice to spend time with you, but I don’t think this is what I want.”

How long did the relationship last?
I honestly don’t even remember. Three months. Maybe four?

How did you meet?
On Tinder. Figures.

Last text from my ex: “We ghosted each other, then he came back from the dead”