“The trick is to pay attention and ask yourself is this belief helping or hindering my relationships? Then you can choose whether you want to keep it or change it.”

In the post, the counsellor says one of the first unrealistic relationship expectations to look out for is believing a partner will change without actually addressing the issue. She also cautions against thinking that “you should always feel the spark” or always feel deeply in love or passionate.

“Believing you should know what each other are thinking or feeling without asking” is also unrealistic along with “thinking you should always agree and never have conflict”, she writes.

Next up, Shackleton says believing you need to be part of every aspect of your partner’s life and that there should be no privacy is an unrealistic expectation, as is the notion that they should “complete you” and that any issue you have is “all them and not you”.

Do you expect too much from a relationship? Here is how to spot the signs