My fiancé and I had decided on a few deal-breakers for our big day. It was going to be adults-only, we wanted everyone to follow a dress code, and we were only inviting those closest to us. We knew people might not have liked some of the things we did, but they didn’t have to like it; they just had to love and respect us enough as a couple to accept it. But that respect never came.

Everyone had an opinion. I’d be asked why some people were invited and others weren’t and when explaining (which, in hindsight, I shouldn’t have had to do), I felt unheard and unseen. And all of a sudden, I was back in my therapist’s office trying to work out where it all went wrong when I was a kid. I had set such healthy boundaries with my family, but it felt like all I could do was watch them tear down those walls I’d built.

As a couple, we started to second-guess everything. We had prioritised the things we wanted on our big day, such as a live band and a photobooth. Then, when our family found out what our money was being spent on – instead of inviting some distant family friends – the rifts started.

The questions and comments came from all sides, and it felt like one thing after another. It was all we would talk about, and with every new comment, I felt my energy deplete until we ended up not wanting to talk about the wedding at all. I kept thinking: Whose wedding is this? Is this torment worth it? Is this what it’s supposed to be like? I wondered if I was being too brutal with my wants and whether I should start bending to what everyone else wanted instead.

“I was bombarded with other people’s opinions about my wedding – it made me want to cancel the whole thing”