Financial imbalance can also create negative power dynamics within the relationship. “Particularly if one person is wealthy and the other doesn’t work, there can be issues. One of them being how much autonomy they have in their relationship – this can lead to feeling a lack of control, of not having a say on how things are spent or feeling like they are asking the partner for pocket money.”

When financial autonomy is asserted, this can even be met with resistance. Lara, a journalist, describes an ex-boyfriend who worked in finance and earned up to £300,000, plus bonuses. While initially attracted to his wealth (in her previous relationship, she was the one paying for things), it ended up being a turn-off. “He never asked me to split the bill. At one point I offered and he got mad at me. He said: “I make the money – and that’s my worth.”

Wealth can also become a stand-in for other love languages, such as quality time and affirmation. “The provider might show their love through money and they may not show affection in other ways,” says Bose. “If they have a family, for example, they’ll provide – pay for school fees, holidays, etc – and when the other person says ‘I need to be shown affection’ they then feel like they are being asked to do even more.” The disparity created by wealth can make healthy conflict difficult. “The low earner may be afraid to have a conflict and stand up for the things that are important to them.”

In its most extreme examples, a relationship with a wealthy partner can be a kind of prison. “I see in some of my clients what could be described as financial abuse: money being withheld, finances being cut off, less money being put in a shared bank account than before,” explains Bose. “The person can feel small or picked on.” Similarly, Ehsaei describes a friend who tried to leave her husband, and when checking into a hotel, found her credit card had been frozen. “There’s a saying that a girl should always have ‘fuck you money’,” she adds. “You need to be set up financially to be able to leave the relationship, and think if I get $0 from this individual, how much do I need to be able to start over.”

So, why are women increasingly glazing over all this in their dating preferences? “We’ve been inculcated as women to believe that men are supposed to provide and protect, whereas women are supposed to be the nurturers of the family,” says Ehsaei, who is also the author of the forthcoming book Never Date A Broke Dude. “Now that women are also doing well professionally [there’s pushback, so] social media shows us these women – living life as a kept woman who wakes up at 10am is enticing.”

“I married a rich man – it didn’t make me happier”