Mandy reflects on this: “I think I was trying to be the cool girl [when dating]. I didn’t say what I wanted, what I needed and then when I started reacting as a result of not expressing my needs, it maybe seemed like, ‘whoa… [I’m] a bit too needy’.”

When we get involved in casual relationships with no clear definitions or commitment (or situationships, as they’re now commonly known), it can be especially difficult to believe that our wants or needs are reasonable. It can feel even harder to trust that we have the right to ask for those wants and needs to be met by someone who isn’t ‘officially’ our partner, and with whom we’ve set very few boundaries.

How do we tackle the fear of seeming ‘too needy’ when dating?

Weber suggests clarifying with yourself what your needs and expectations are before communicating them to the person you’re dating. “Very often, if you haven’t had that conversation with yourself and you’re not sure, then there can be a swelling of needs and it’s hard to know where to begin,” she says. By taking time to think about what it is that you need before you start dating, you give yourself the opportunity to understand what is truly important to you and review what you feel is reasonable.

When Adjoa, 23, first began dating, she often worried about coming across as ‘too needy’. Then she realised that if she became so crippled by this fear that she couldn’t express her needs, she wasn’t giving her partner the chance to meet them, or to show up for her in a way that could enhance their relationship. “I’ve basically taken it as my responsibility in a relationship to be as upfront and open about my needs [as possible],” she explains. “The person [I’m dating] can help with it, or if they can’t, it’s more than fine. But communicating [my needs in the first place] makes things simpler.”

Weber agrees that even if the person you’re dating can’t meet your expectations, communicating them can help alleviate anxiety and uncertainty, sometimes leading to a strengthened relationship. “It goes a long way, even if you don’t have every need met, just to just to be clear about what’s possible,” she says.

Are there any situations where we could genuinely be asking for too much from another person while dating? “When your emotional wellbeing is outsourced to another person,” Weber says. No one can “be responsible for the feelings of another person at every moment”, she explains, and it’s unreasonable to expect someone to be able to do this for us. But Weber maintains that in order to have a healthy relationship, women must be unapologetic about asking someone to meet their basic needs. Meeting these basic needs is often underpinned by having mutual understanding for the person you’re dating.

“Ultimately, if someone is respectful,” Weber adds, “then fears of seeming needy can be worked through.”

“I’m terrified of seeming ‘needy’ when dating. How can I shake off this fear?”