Finally, two packs of Haribo Starmix and four hours later we arrived in Hemlsley, a village filled with quaint local shops, and no Starbucks in sight (a clear sign you’re in the proper British countryside).

In contrast to the idyllic surroundings, we were hot, sticky and in need of some attention – which was thankfully on hand. The staff relieved us of our bags immediately and ushered us into our poolside suite. Yes, poolside suite. There are not many places north of Watford you can say that about. Pools are for hot climates. Residents of Britain’s northern counties are realists, if nothing else.

Our suite consisted of four rooms, which, quite frankly, were bigger than our London flat by quite a stretch. The bedroom, bathroom, living room and dressing room all had low-hanging beams and lovely touches such as proper antique furniture, which made us feel like Lord and Lady of a large country manor (the first and last time, I imagine). And there was a massive roll-top bath. Call me easy to please, but that’s a marker of a fine establishment in my books.

The Verbena Spa is one of the hotel’s primary selling points and justly so. With a palette of soft taupe and green, it’s like a cocoon, and as I was talked through my chosen treatment (Face and Body Bliss – £85 for 90 minutes – a body scrub, hot stone massage and facial) I could already feel the stresses of the morning’s car journey easing away. I sauntered out of the spa, such was the effect of the hot stones on my cramped, city posture and just about made it to our gigantic bed before dozing off for the rest of the afternoon.

Sip poolside cocktails in North Yorkshire