She might deny that her story is a fairy tale, but Wamariya is also fiercely opposed to the idea that refugees should be seen as victims, even when that view comes from a theoretically benevolent place. “The idea of somebody suffering is really painful to every human,” she says. “In our collective language, we all too often see those who are suffering as a victim to be pitied, to be feared, and even sometimes to be despised. I want to redirect that narrative.

“We’re all humans first before something happens to us, right? I want to lift those labels [of refugee and victim] and put them aside, so that we can see each other as humans, because someone who may not have a home can heal you in ways in which you never thought.”

This brings her to the story of the taxi driver who picked her up after a recent trip to IKEA. As they drove, he told her that he was from Syria, and had been living in the US for a year as a refugee. “He was like: ‘The people who were in this car [before you], they said that my car was not clean’,” she says, sounding appalled. “I said, ‘I’m so sorry if that hurt you.’”

“This was his first car in America,” she continues, “and he understood me. He understood me so well. If I had sat in his car and done exactly what the other people did to him, I would have missed the gift that he shared with me.” At this point, her voice becomes thick with tears. “He just got to America. Do you know how hard it is to finally have a car in America when you’ve lost everything? You’ve lost everything, you’ve lost everybody?”

As with all of Wamariya’s anecdotes, there is a point to this story. “You have to be so very gentle, because he lifted my spirits, and then I, in turn, lifted his spirits. If we believe that a person seeking refuge is to be pitied, feared, despised and looked down upon, we are doing ourselves a disservice.”

After the dust has settled from the publication of The Girl Who Smiled Beads, she hopes to continue with her writing and advocacy work, sharing her own stories and enabling others to share theirs.

“I want to create or be a platform for people who have been labelled as a victim,” she says. “I’m not going to be their voice; that’s their voice. I want to allow people to voice their life beyond labels.”

The Woman of the Week series is part of Stylist’s Visible Women campaign, dedicated to raising the profiles of brilliant women past and present. See more Visible Women stories here.

Clemantine Wamariya experienced the Rwandan genocide, but she is not a victim