Weddings

This story of a nightmare bridesmaid request has a surprisingly happy ending

Posted by
Megan Murray
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Wait until you read the reason behind the restyle. 

Have you ever been in a bridal party? If the answer is yes, you’ll know that sometimes wedding fever can cause brides to make some pretty outrageous demands of those around them.

That’s right, for every tale of a bride donating her wedding feast to the homeless, there’s another about a bridesmaid being ordered to gain weight so that she doesn’t outshine the woman in white on her big day. Or the bride demanding that her pal sleep with the best man, because he refused to do the job unless there was a “guaranteed lay for him.”

In fact, there’s so many of these bizarre stories that Reddit is awash with them and if like us, you can’t help but read them we think you’ll find this next one quite interesting.

Reddit user SnorlaxToWigglytuff took to the forum to share her confusion over a conversation she’d had with her sister-in-law and bride-to-be.

In her post, she explains that the wedding is going to be “huge” and that the couple have gone “all out” for their celebration, remarking that although the bride “hasn’t been a bridezilla and very kind” there has been things she has been “picky and strict” about, before pointing out that since it’s her wedding, it seems fair enough.

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However, the friends had recently become caught up in an argument after the bridesmaid had decided to take a new direction with her hairstyle, for a very good cause.

“I’ve been growing my hair for years and got tired of it. Yesterday, I went from hair down past my butt and had it cut into a short cut, like a pixie. I cut so much of it because I donated to an organization called Wigs For Kids, they make wigs for free for children with cancer and alopecia.

“Overall, I donated 48 inches of hair. I absolutely love it, the hair stylist said it was perfect for my face shape, my fiancé loves it, it’s been such a confidence booster,” writes SnorlaxToWigglytuff.

But after seeing a picture of her new haircut (and a description of where her hair would be going) on Instagram, the bride messaged the Reddit user to say that “I should have asked before I cut all that hair off as she doesn’t think it’ll match her extremely feminine designs/decorations.”

She continued: “I’m in her wedding party and now will stand out from her and the other girls (they all have long hair too), and wishes I had waited just a month to cut it.”

There are a few things we think are crucial to highlight here. First off, there’s the obvious fact that no one, not friend, family or partner, has the right to dictate what any of us do with our hair. Our bodies are our own, to do with as we please whether we have a wedding in our calendar or not, full stop. But also, we’d like to point out that having very long hair is not the only way to look feminine and that having a pixie haircut is definitely not a downgrade from bum-length hair. We are in full support of the pixie cut and its gorgeousness. 

The author of the post, who was also dumbfounded by this logic, continued: “I literally didn’t know how to respond. I’ve never been in a wedding before and I’ve never been married, so is this normal? Should I have asked her before making such a dramatic physical appearance change?”

Responses came in thick and fast, assuring the bridesmaid that she has nothing to feel bad about.

“It’s your hair and you did an amazing thing with it, don’t be made to feel bad for it,” replied one person.

Another wrote: “I don’t understand the bridezilla impulse to try to control your wedding party’s appearance, but you should be asking people to be in the wedding party because they’re important to you, not because they’re aesthetically pleasing.”

Another Reddit user said: “Bridesmaids don’t sign away their right to be themselves, hair included. You should say, ‘If you’d prefer the short haired version of me not be in your wedding, that’s cool. Just let me know ASAP.’ Do not apologize for anything!”

A fourth agreed: “Brides who think their parties need to put their lives on hold for their one day are so bananas. Your job is to show up clean and presentable in the dress you agreed to. She doesn’t get to tell you what to do with your own body from the day you accept being a bridesmaid until the wedding is over. I totally get why you feel you maybe did something wrong because so much of wedding culture normalizes this weird bride behavior, but she’s an asshole for getting upset, not you for getting your own hair cut.”

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While some shared similar stories: “Something similar happened to me when my friend got married. I had beautiful blue and purple mermaid hair, but was told to dye it a neutral color so “I wouldn’t ruin the wedding pictures”. My hair ended up looking like garbage anyway, because the stylist messed up. The whole ordeal stressed me out beyond belief (on top of all the other things that happened).

“Part of me understands why a person cares about how others look, but I also know that when I get married, I’m not going to police people on their hair color.”

But unlike some other stories of this ilk, this one actually has a happy ending.

After thanking the Reddit community for their help, SnorlaxToWigglytuff added an edit to her post to say “we got dinner and talked. Neither of us are upset, she just said she had a bad day (caterer cancelled on her) so my hair was another unexpected surprise related to her wedding and she did overreact.

“She said she loves the haircut and she’s sure it’ll look just as great in the floral headbands still. We’re all okay now, thanks everyone for the advice.”

We have everything crossed for this bridesmaid that this is the last bump in the road before the big day. 

Images: Getty / Tracey Hocking 

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Megan Murray

Megan Murray is a digital journalist for stylist.co.uk, who enjoys writing about London happenings, beautiful places, delicious morsels and generally spreading sparkle wherever she can.

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