Weddings

Reddit wedding photographers reveal how they can tell if a couple will stay together

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Megan Murray
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Apparently these telltale signs are the forewarning for whether a marriage will work or not. 

Oh Reddit, how many hours of entertainment you do provide. From revealing the most beautiful sights to behold in the UK, to the best sex advice from women to those men who really could do with it, we’ve lost hours on this brilliant platform. 

But our latest Reddit fix comes in the form of ‘sixth sense’ wedding stories from those who attend a lot of weddings, and can therefore sniff out which ones are for keeps. 

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Reddit user HHS2019 asked the forum: “Marriage/engagement photographers/videographers of Reddit, have you developed a sixth sense for which marriages will flourish and which will not? What are the green and red flags?” – and the answers were plentiful. 

From how a bride or groom feeds their other half the wedding cake, or what style they would like the wedding photography, according to these wedding experts these are subtle forewarnings of what’s to come.

We’ve picked out the best, most interesting answers, that apparently reveal whether a couple will make it past their big day.

Apparently cake cutting is a big deal 

“Photographer here: to me the biggest sign is the cake cutting. Some people like to smear the cake everywhere as a joke, some people don’t. Usually the couple is in sync about this. They know what the other would like and they don’t smush cake on the others face if they wouldn’t want that.

“Sometimes one of them (usually the groom) will force cake all over the others face and embarrass and upset them. I’ve seen this happen a handful of times and all of those relationships that I have kept up with have ended in a divorce.”

It’s called R.E.S.P.E.C.T

“You can tell somewhat based on how the couple treats each other on the wedding day. If they are respectful toward one another (and toward me) during a day full of stress then I think that’s a good indicator of being able to deal with other problems that may arise during a marriage.”

Aligned interests are key

“I try to get to know both people beforehand, so I can work in their hobbies/unique traits into my product. A big red flag is when one person is clearly trying to change the other. I had one dude who loved poker, craft beer, cigars, hanging with his rowdy friends, video games, etc. I planned a cool shoot where I had all his friends in an old west saloon, and he sees his bride to be, etc… but she steps in and declares “oh, he won’t be doing any of those things any more.” 

“Poor bastard just sat there in silence as I awkwardly had to plan them shopping for a Yorkie puppy instead. Half way through post production after the wedding, he called and said he was getting an annulment. I wanted to say ‘could have told ya so!’ But I try to stay neutral.”

Again, it’s all about cake

“Cake artist here. I had a couple come in for a tasting. Appointment was for 7pm, but he was late. First half hour was just her. She told me they met at a stable where they both kept their horses. Those horses were going to be featured at the wedding as the bride and groom would ride them to the site (a beautiful farm venue.) She described in detail her self designed medieval gown, flower wreath in her hair, embroidered shoes like some from a museum: sounded lovely. She wanted a cake like a castle, which was a specialty of mine. The whole wedding would be over the top, but not in a cringy way.

“Then he arrives. Barely says hi to her, sits down and starts telling me about his wedding. He’ll ride in dressed as a riverboat gambler with a frock coat, brocade vest, string tie, big hat, gold pocket watch, and STERLING SILVER SPURS! He’s fine with the castle cake, but wants to incorporate the watch and a pair of mother of pearl handled pistols (picture given).

“I had already decided that I was not going to work with them. NO way could I come up with a cake that would work for them. But they were there so I brought out the samples. For the next hour they carried on two entirely separate monologues. They didn’t address each other (or me) and they didn’t listen to each other (or me).

“I made no attempt to book them that night, and when they called later in the week I told them their date had been taken. They were living in two incompatible and entirely self contained fantasies. I doubt they even made it to the wedding day.”

Similar levels of enthusiasm 

“Typically I saw red flags when the bride or groom is super quiet. I mean silent and just watching.

“One instance was a groom who barely said 10 words to anyone during the ceremony or reception afterwards. The bride and her mother were extremely loud and excited the entire time. The bride needed everything to be ‘perfect’. I dropped off the photo bundle with them two weeks later and he was still quiet. She however complained about all of the pictures because the groom wasn’t ‘smiling enough’. She wanted a discount because I couldn’t make him look happy enough.

“They got divorced about a year later. I know because I did his engagement photos with his new fiancée about four years after his first wedding. His engagement photos showed him much happier.”

So there we have it, and if you’re thirsty for more stories, this thread received over 6,000 replies so knock yourself out here.

Images: Getty

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Megan Murray

Megan Murray is a digital journalist for stylist.co.uk, who enjoys writing about London happenings, beautiful places, delicious morsels and generally spreading sparkle wherever she can.

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